True story: as much as I want to be one of those people who is super chill about riding bareback and never has any anxiety, that's just not me. While I love the idea of a nice relaxed bareback ride where I really get to connect with my horse, there's this big obstacle to achieving that: mounting up.
I know that sounds crazy, but ever since my freak accident at the mounting block I've had some lingering anxiety. To be honest I mostly avoid the block and just mount from the ground (bless my very long legs).
But getting on bareback means using the block, and without the security of a stirrup or the saddle to hold on to. Those few moments of reaching my leg over, and the bit of unsteadiness while I settle into place, still sends my nerves into overdrive. It's such a small thing, but feels so big in my mind. I'm still working to overcome it, and am proud every time I choose to swing a leg over Rigil bareback.
All this is just to say, don't measure yourself by someone else's yardstick. We all have our "sticky spots" and we're all doing what we can with what we have.
I hope you you're able to feel brave every time you mount up and remember how amazing you and your horse are, and how wonderful the journey is.